Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
My Grandma is coming back.
On 1st January 2010, well as you can see that it was a Happy New Year day. I thought it was have any difference but still same...same life, same work, same weather and nothing special. Only the age will make a bit different. Haha...
Ok...so, my grandma finally left us and we were so missed her so much. This kinda thing always come. When she's still alive, you will have to say "No...we're busy. Maybe later we will come." But when she's passed away, you will feel so regret not for seeing her much and promise this and that. Well...I have been through this for all the time.But that's kinda strange...Once when grandma was alive, the "Quan Yin" statue looks not so happy. I thought that it was something to do about the bulb was not quite write so my auntie change a new bulb for it. But the expression was still the same so we just ignore it. And when my grandma passed away, it seems got happy face. For my opinion, I think my auntie was right. The "Quan Yin" expression got a meaning. When it feel sad, it worry my grandma cause she have sick an nothing can be cured or family problem. And when it happy, my grandma finally release from the pain of sick or she can rest in peace. So "Quan Yin" relief that she's finally can rest. And plus, when my grandma passed away and we waiting for her sprit come back, my head keep spinning, headache, coughing, feel hot inside my body. I thought that I was having a fever. But for me I'm sure that I wasn't. That experience I feel it before in my hometown when some evil spirit or unwelcoming spirits nearby, I will get this feeling.
So...I just keep my mouth shut and went to room for a rest. They say we have to keep all the light shut it off and sleep. If got any noise outside or what-so-ever, ignore it. So we promise and sleep but I can't sleep any better. The place was quite small plus my head was going worst. More painful but I got another feeling was approaching. I also have no idea why I feel so sad. My heart so sour and want to cry it out. But I have to control my emotion. And I have to sms to my sister there something wrong with me. My sister told me that she heard some little noise at outside. So I have to concentrate the noise what she mention about. Yupe. She's right. I heard it too! Although my head still pain, I was clearly heard it some footstep at outside in that time she's always watering some plants. I hear one light noise from the cup she's usually like to drink Milo "Tang!" and finally is it my imagination...I think not. I heard some whispering but not so clearly what she's try to say. But not whispering me. It's from other room. Then again, the noise were dissappeared and so do I, I have to go back to sleep cause my head was going to burst any minute.
And tomorrow morning at 5.30am, we all rushed out to see if any food got any different. It looks like still same. Maybe grandma coming back only look for us. But I already feel as usual that my head was completely ok. But I don't want to tell about it. Scare they will say I'm over-reacted or something. And what I experienced about, they feel it too. But the most quite experience is my fifth auntie's son. He have seen her. He saw her without hand, leg and face for first time. Then slowly, he saw her mouth was talking to him. But didn't know what she's trying to tell him. No wonder why I heard someone whispering about it. It was grandma. I wish I can see her but it's no use. My eye's have been sealed but it's ok. As long as I can feel them it's fine with me.
Ok...so, my grandma finally left us and we were so missed her so much. This kinda thing always come. When she's still alive, you will have to say "No...we're busy. Maybe later we will come." But when she's passed away, you will feel so regret not for seeing her much and promise this and that. Well...I have been through this for all the time.But that's kinda strange...Once when grandma was alive, the "Quan Yin" statue looks not so happy. I thought that it was something to do about the bulb was not quite write so my auntie change a new bulb for it. But the expression was still the same so we just ignore it. And when my grandma passed away, it seems got happy face. For my opinion, I think my auntie was right. The "Quan Yin" expression got a meaning. When it feel sad, it worry my grandma cause she have sick an nothing can be cured or family problem. And when it happy, my grandma finally release from the pain of sick or she can rest in peace. So "Quan Yin" relief that she's finally can rest. And plus, when my grandma passed away and we waiting for her sprit come back, my head keep spinning, headache, coughing, feel hot inside my body. I thought that I was having a fever. But for me I'm sure that I wasn't. That experience I feel it before in my hometown when some evil spirit or unwelcoming spirits nearby, I will get this feeling.
So...I just keep my mouth shut and went to room for a rest. They say we have to keep all the light shut it off and sleep. If got any noise outside or what-so-ever, ignore it. So we promise and sleep but I can't sleep any better. The place was quite small plus my head was going worst. More painful but I got another feeling was approaching. I also have no idea why I feel so sad. My heart so sour and want to cry it out. But I have to control my emotion. And I have to sms to my sister there something wrong with me. My sister told me that she heard some little noise at outside. So I have to concentrate the noise what she mention about. Yupe. She's right. I heard it too! Although my head still pain, I was clearly heard it some footstep at outside in that time she's always watering some plants. I hear one light noise from the cup she's usually like to drink Milo "Tang!" and finally is it my imagination...I think not. I heard some whispering but not so clearly what she's try to say. But not whispering me. It's from other room. Then again, the noise were dissappeared and so do I, I have to go back to sleep cause my head was going to burst any minute.
And tomorrow morning at 5.30am, we all rushed out to see if any food got any different. It looks like still same. Maybe grandma coming back only look for us. But I already feel as usual that my head was completely ok. But I don't want to tell about it. Scare they will say I'm over-reacted or something. And what I experienced about, they feel it too. But the most quite experience is my fifth auntie's son. He have seen her. He saw her without hand, leg and face for first time. Then slowly, he saw her mouth was talking to him. But didn't know what she's trying to tell him. No wonder why I heard someone whispering about it. It was grandma. I wish I can see her but it's no use. My eye's have been sealed but it's ok. As long as I can feel them it's fine with me.
My only Yin-Yang eyes and their presence.
Everyone knows that seeing a ghosts is really scary but everyone no need to worry about it. Seeing a ghost just like see a human like we stay in the earth. When I start not scared of the ghosts? Let me tell you about it.
This problem I was start when I was small. I also have no idea why I can see it because I cannot explain. I see it and that's only I can say because I think this is from my buddha's treasure or something else...
Honestly say, first time I see that "thing" is kinda scary and horrified. When I was about 7, I already can see them when I was in my bedroom. I was too scared and cry so loud. And my mom and dad rush into my room and tell them I saw a light got eyes watching at me. My dad not believe it and telling me that this is just my imagination. So I ignore it and went back to sleep. Just before it, I was quite thirsty and need to wake up. And suddenly, I see my blanket and see it again. This time is more scary. The flower of rose got a eyes glared at me...it was so scary and I still remember it. So my mom and dad have no choice and decided to sleep with them. I also didn't know at first. But my full of mind just thinking that it was a monster. After when I was 12, I was so excited that why can human can walk without a feet and I can see through them from their body. I want to try it out. Maybe this is a new supernatural power human being. Whatever I try, it won't success. I try to ask them, but they just dissappear no matter how I go near them. When I told my mom and dad about it, my mom and dad turn face. They quickly ask me to pray Quan-Yin so can protect me and telling me that this thing is not safe. It's called a ghosts. Well...first time I was scared. I think I hope I will not seeing them again. I keep praying and praying but it won't work. More and more I seeing them. In that my age, I was seeing them just as usual. Like seeing them just a normal thing and didn't scare at all.
They didn't notice me at all.
But I still remember that the most nice and very crowdly is in July 14. They was so happy and I see all of them seems like celebrate something. All is laugh, joy, and even got a children playing around. I think it's in midnight. And also they having a...what we call like a circus so I didn't know about it. And the children is playing a football...you know...using one of their head playing. Quite scary but funny. I cannot laught at it. Scare they will notice me. I just hope that I can play with them. But the rules is cannot. Human and ghosts cannot be together. I have seen them about 20 years above.
After my mom and dad cannot hold it much longer because of my eyes can see that "THINGS", they quickly take me to see a master of god, which you know he called "Ji Gong" a drunken god. After they take me, take a bow and ask me go near him, he say that my eyes is a treasure from god. And he say that not only two eyes I got, he say I got another one eyes at my forehead which human cannot see...only god can see. I think he call it "Jing Yan" Golden Star Eyes which they know that. He say that my eyes from forehead not completely open. If completely open, my both eyes and forehead eyes will become "Fuo Yan" Buddha's eyes. And he say that he will see me my true from, which human cannot see. He say that now my eyes is only can see the spirits and ghosts but cannot see buddha. So my mom hear it and ask the god to sealed it so I won't see them anymore. And he just did it. I won't see anymore. About 1 years I cannot see them but now I got another one. I can hear them although cannot see.
Hmm...I only hear them when during at night. Kinda scary but they seems so sad. It feels like so crowded like night-market or something like that. But the important is when you hear "they" call your name, IGNORE it. Because we didn't know what "they" think such as exchange your life and your luck.
One day, I was at work..working with my father. And I heard so much noise keep whispering my ear. It's so annoyed so I cannot hold it much longer and just shout at it "KEEP QUIET!!!" My mom and dad hear I'm scream and telling me what happened. So I have to tell itt because I hear "they" about a years. So they take me to master again and sealed it again. After the god master sealed it, well...I have no choice but need to tell you. Yes, you guess right. I got two things that human didn't have. One is I can see "them" from behind and another is I can sense them. I got these things until now. But I just ignore it. Just because I got it, I'm not very prefer to live hotel and apartment. It's driving me crazy!
This problem I was start when I was small. I also have no idea why I can see it because I cannot explain. I see it and that's only I can say because I think this is from my buddha's treasure or something else...
Honestly say, first time I see that "thing" is kinda scary and horrified. When I was about 7, I already can see them when I was in my bedroom. I was too scared and cry so loud. And my mom and dad rush into my room and tell them I saw a light got eyes watching at me. My dad not believe it and telling me that this is just my imagination. So I ignore it and went back to sleep. Just before it, I was quite thirsty and need to wake up. And suddenly, I see my blanket and see it again. This time is more scary. The flower of rose got a eyes glared at me...it was so scary and I still remember it. So my mom and dad have no choice and decided to sleep with them. I also didn't know at first. But my full of mind just thinking that it was a monster. After when I was 12, I was so excited that why can human can walk without a feet and I can see through them from their body. I want to try it out. Maybe this is a new supernatural power human being. Whatever I try, it won't success. I try to ask them, but they just dissappear no matter how I go near them. When I told my mom and dad about it, my mom and dad turn face. They quickly ask me to pray Quan-Yin so can protect me and telling me that this thing is not safe. It's called a ghosts. Well...first time I was scared. I think I hope I will not seeing them again. I keep praying and praying but it won't work. More and more I seeing them. In that my age, I was seeing them just as usual. Like seeing them just a normal thing and didn't scare at all.
They didn't notice me at all.
But I still remember that the most nice and very crowdly is in July 14. They was so happy and I see all of them seems like celebrate something. All is laugh, joy, and even got a children playing around. I think it's in midnight. And also they having a...what we call like a circus so I didn't know about it. And the children is playing a football...you know...using one of their head playing. Quite scary but funny. I cannot laught at it. Scare they will notice me. I just hope that I can play with them. But the rules is cannot. Human and ghosts cannot be together. I have seen them about 20 years above.
After my mom and dad cannot hold it much longer because of my eyes can see that "THINGS", they quickly take me to see a master of god, which you know he called "Ji Gong" a drunken god. After they take me, take a bow and ask me go near him, he say that my eyes is a treasure from god. And he say that not only two eyes I got, he say I got another one eyes at my forehead which human cannot see...only god can see. I think he call it "Jing Yan" Golden Star Eyes which they know that. He say that my eyes from forehead not completely open. If completely open, my both eyes and forehead eyes will become "Fuo Yan" Buddha's eyes. And he say that he will see me my true from, which human cannot see. He say that now my eyes is only can see the spirits and ghosts but cannot see buddha. So my mom hear it and ask the god to sealed it so I won't see them anymore. And he just did it. I won't see anymore. About 1 years I cannot see them but now I got another one. I can hear them although cannot see.
Hmm...I only hear them when during at night. Kinda scary but they seems so sad. It feels like so crowded like night-market or something like that. But the important is when you hear "they" call your name, IGNORE it. Because we didn't know what "they" think such as exchange your life and your luck.
One day, I was at work..working with my father. And I heard so much noise keep whispering my ear. It's so annoyed so I cannot hold it much longer and just shout at it "KEEP QUIET!!!" My mom and dad hear I'm scream and telling me what happened. So I have to tell itt because I hear "they" about a years. So they take me to master again and sealed it again. After the god master sealed it, well...I have no choice but need to tell you. Yes, you guess right. I got two things that human didn't have. One is I can see "them" from behind and another is I can sense them. I got these things until now. But I just ignore it. Just because I got it, I'm not very prefer to live hotel and apartment. It's driving me crazy!
Understanding the spirit's feeling.
I think anyone or everyone still didn't know who are we. I just only know that we are human. But what kind of human are we? Well...the answer still nowhere to be found. Anyway...spirits or can be call ghost is just lke us. Because when I was small...I already know that we move any parts like hand, feet, head, body, eyes, mouth and other abdomen we like to move it is our brain and mind to make it move.
Well...I think you might think I'm crazy...
Anyone or everyone else who lived in this planet know that when we see a spirit or ghost, they will say "Ahh!!! Ghosts!!!" Well...tell you the truth. The spirit or ghosts is nothing to fear because they are same as we because after we died, we also same as them. So there's nothing to afraid of. If you see them appear in front of your eyes, don't fear. Because they just want to find someone for a little chat and they also want you to understand their feelings can share of it.
BUT, if you still afraid of that thing...just ignore it and pretend not to see them. If you really see them, chat with them. But if you do like to help them, it would be a little hard for you because you never know that what cost did it takes such as your LIFE! Only except that if they begging you for your help and won't ask any any cost, it better that you have to help. Maybe if you help, they will give you what you want such as lucky number or something very nice that you need it.
It's a great way that we need to understand their feeling although they seems scary and horrified. Honestly, I have seen them when I was small. You think I only see 4 or 5? No. I have seen them a lot. Like watching me above, sitting at the bench in midnight and got a lot spot that I have seen until I cannot tell because they are too many of them. Oops...I was out of the title because this story I only can tell is understand spirits feelings. Everyone have to becareful their feelings because no one know what feelings they have. This thing also important.
Well...I think you might think I'm crazy...
Anyone or everyone else who lived in this planet know that when we see a spirit or ghost, they will say "Ahh!!! Ghosts!!!" Well...tell you the truth. The spirit or ghosts is nothing to fear because they are same as we because after we died, we also same as them. So there's nothing to afraid of. If you see them appear in front of your eyes, don't fear. Because they just want to find someone for a little chat and they also want you to understand their feelings can share of it.
BUT, if you still afraid of that thing...just ignore it and pretend not to see them. If you really see them, chat with them. But if you do like to help them, it would be a little hard for you because you never know that what cost did it takes such as your LIFE! Only except that if they begging you for your help and won't ask any any cost, it better that you have to help. Maybe if you help, they will give you what you want such as lucky number or something very nice that you need it.
It's a great way that we need to understand their feeling although they seems scary and horrified. Honestly, I have seen them when I was small. You think I only see 4 or 5? No. I have seen them a lot. Like watching me above, sitting at the bench in midnight and got a lot spot that I have seen until I cannot tell because they are too many of them. Oops...I was out of the title because this story I only can tell is understand spirits feelings. Everyone have to becareful their feelings because no one know what feelings they have. This thing also important.
My Only One Friend
Well...I'm not quite sure how I start it...Truly is making a friends is not an easy job. It's the hardest job you ever seen. But I already meet up some of people is really hard to make friends. Some is mocking one and some is bully one. Anyway, I was meet some of these...they actually using me as like their toys.
Well...let me explain and tell you a story about my real life of experience and until now I only have one friend. It's true.
You know...all folkes just say that don't be alone, make friends at outside will give you some different view better from your own. All my parents just give me advise to make friends with them. Well...I done it but it seems not just as they say.
Well...firstly is kinda easy to make more friends. Really happy in this way but slowly...something's not quite right. I thought this is going to be going smooth. In one day, my sister came and one of my friends surprised to see my sister and he say that she's pretty. Yeah...of course she's pretty, though. He want to knowing her so I have to tell her right away. And she did. She willing speak to him. And I hope they will become best friend not what you think about boy-friend or girl-friend sort of.
For a couple of months, my sister told me that your friend so fast want to catch up me to fall in love.
I shocked! This is not good...my sister just only 18 and my friend is now 24. Same as my age one. She telling me that he got guts to speak like that. So I tell her what did he say?
He said "I really love you, can we be more serious having a date or willing hold my hand?"
Holy mary mother of god...what did he think??!!! What did he think my sister are? A some kind of robot or puppet?! Firstly I need to talk to him about it. But suddenly he just telling me that my sister not accepted his love and I told him it's because you so in rush and he telling the final word. "Did your sister still love me?" he said in his depressed eyes. So I have no choice but to tell the truth. "Nope, she say you keep forcing her and rushing her." And he nodded and left away. And the war begins.
After he heard that my sister told him, his appearance and attitude change. Begin treat me like rubbish. Not willing teaching some studies and willing treat them for dinner except me. But I don't mind. I still live with them because of study in college.In one day, I'm usually go to my own hostel. And it's raining quite heavy...so I have to closed the windows. And one of my friends come and he open it back and accidentally broke the windows. He just stand here and glares at me but I didn't see him because I know already he's already hate me very much. And he scold me in his bad ways like he never did it before. Since we know each other, he treat me very nice but now it's different already. Not him only, other his friends told them don't treat him nice. He will make you more stupid. So I can't hold it moch longer and decided to move out from this hostel. So I just keep seaching and searching and lastly, I finally found it although quite shabby but there also got people who live there.
Well...this is it. My new place and I introduce myself and they also same college as me. In subject, they willing teach me and some of them willing treat me for a dinner. I was quite happy. And when in school, I see back my old friend who treat me and tease me. He come towards me and ask me why you moved out? I just keep silence and left away. One of my friend who I live with scold him and said "This is your fault that your friend willing to move out, live with us not like you bunch of ass-holes.Only a small things that his sister not loving you and you put him a big pressure, tease him, mocking him and bully him! You think this is funny things ha?! Man...I was so touched that one of my friend is willing help me that much. Things is going really ok. After 2 years in Ipoh, which I lived nearby...I was moved out, back to my hometown because my dad wants me to come back. So I did it...I was going back.
After came back, I was helping my dad do some work and other stuff to do. And I got one long lasting friend in my hometown. He seems very nice to me but sometimes...he changed. I don't know why but it feels like he's different that I never know him before.
Well...let me explain and tell you a story about my real life of experience and until now I only have one friend. It's true.
You know...all folkes just say that don't be alone, make friends at outside will give you some different view better from your own. All my parents just give me advise to make friends with them. Well...I done it but it seems not just as they say.
Well...firstly is kinda easy to make more friends. Really happy in this way but slowly...something's not quite right. I thought this is going to be going smooth. In one day, my sister came and one of my friends surprised to see my sister and he say that she's pretty. Yeah...of course she's pretty, though. He want to knowing her so I have to tell her right away. And she did. She willing speak to him. And I hope they will become best friend not what you think about boy-friend or girl-friend sort of.
For a couple of months, my sister told me that your friend so fast want to catch up me to fall in love.
I shocked! This is not good...my sister just only 18 and my friend is now 24. Same as my age one. She telling me that he got guts to speak like that. So I tell her what did he say?
He said "I really love you, can we be more serious having a date or willing hold my hand?"
Holy mary mother of god...what did he think??!!! What did he think my sister are? A some kind of robot or puppet?! Firstly I need to talk to him about it. But suddenly he just telling me that my sister not accepted his love and I told him it's because you so in rush and he telling the final word. "Did your sister still love me?" he said in his depressed eyes. So I have no choice but to tell the truth. "Nope, she say you keep forcing her and rushing her." And he nodded and left away. And the war begins.
After he heard that my sister told him, his appearance and attitude change. Begin treat me like rubbish. Not willing teaching some studies and willing treat them for dinner except me. But I don't mind. I still live with them because of study in college.In one day, I'm usually go to my own hostel. And it's raining quite heavy...so I have to closed the windows. And one of my friends come and he open it back and accidentally broke the windows. He just stand here and glares at me but I didn't see him because I know already he's already hate me very much. And he scold me in his bad ways like he never did it before. Since we know each other, he treat me very nice but now it's different already. Not him only, other his friends told them don't treat him nice. He will make you more stupid. So I can't hold it moch longer and decided to move out from this hostel. So I just keep seaching and searching and lastly, I finally found it although quite shabby but there also got people who live there.
Well...this is it. My new place and I introduce myself and they also same college as me. In subject, they willing teach me and some of them willing treat me for a dinner. I was quite happy. And when in school, I see back my old friend who treat me and tease me. He come towards me and ask me why you moved out? I just keep silence and left away. One of my friend who I live with scold him and said "This is your fault that your friend willing to move out, live with us not like you bunch of ass-holes.Only a small things that his sister not loving you and you put him a big pressure, tease him, mocking him and bully him! You think this is funny things ha?! Man...I was so touched that one of my friend is willing help me that much. Things is going really ok. After 2 years in Ipoh, which I lived nearby...I was moved out, back to my hometown because my dad wants me to come back. So I did it...I was going back.
After came back, I was helping my dad do some work and other stuff to do. And I got one long lasting friend in my hometown. He seems very nice to me but sometimes...he changed. I don't know why but it feels like he's different that I never know him before.
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